Update: My day at work

For no good reason I just shoved about 4 inches of rice krispy treat into my mouth and had to deal with squirrel chewing/cheeks. Damn.

A little poop shy

Just went to go have my early afternoon poop. I walked out of my office at the exact same time the girl across the hall did. She scared the shit out of me so I did a little "Ah. Oh sorry, you scared the shit out of me."

I was optimistic that she'd stop at the elevator. Nope. I unlocked and then held the door for her into the ladies room.

It's a small three-staller and I debated whether I should just play the waiting game (which is much less embarrassing when anonymous) or just have a phantom bathroom run.

I go to the bathroom about once every hour and a half. I'm not sure if it's because of my small bladder or if it's because I get so depressed at work that the bathroom becomes a pseudo vacation spot. (I must mention though that I am the fastest pooper/bathroom trip taker in the world, so my time spent in the bathroom is definetly not the source of my only 25% productive work day. My speed bathrooming amazes people all the time, and sometimes I have to affirm repeatedly that yes, I did poop faster than you dried your hands.)

I sat in my stall for thirty seconds and had the teeniest tinkle (since I just went to the bathroom about twenty minutes before) and then ran out of the bathroom trying to avoid her scaring the shit out of me again or something*.

Then I had to wait in my office's waiting room area and tell my coworker that I was waiting for our building-mate to finish up in the bathroom so I could poop in solitary.

I always feel the need to confess my awkward situations, as if someone is really going to confront me about it. "Hey, wait a minute. You were just in the bathroom. Then you came back. Now you're leaving again. Are you on drugs?" I'm pretty sure that in fact no one gives a shit.

So after explaining myself unnecessarily, I went back in, did my thing while mentally drafting this blog post, and walla** (wall-ah? you know-- that magic related french sounding word) here I am.

*or offering another explanation. It's practically involunary for me. "Oh hey there. Yeah, I actually have to poop, so I know it sounded like I didn't even go to the bathroom, but I'm going to make a return trip when I think it's safe. It's really echo-y in here dontcha think?"

**Ah, I just googled it. "Voila." So uncouth.

Pool Observations

Went to the pool yesterday for the first time (of the season and at my new apartment). Quite a crowd there. A few points from my notes:

What I presumed was a gay couple, both in their 30s-40s, sat to my right. Man A was Mediterranean-looking, bald, and, in addition to his otherwise sculpted bod, had an extremely hairy back (but kudos for not hiding that shit like another wet, white-tee-wearing dude I saw).

The real show-stopper though was Man A's partner, who I will creatively title Man B. Man B was also trim and had flowing, layered, chin-length gray hair. He wore a red speedo (which always activates my x-ray vision). He had a pierced belly button (a ring). He rolled around spread out and stretching like a sunbathing cat on his lounge chair with only a folded up washcloth to support his perfectly groomed head. Once, he turned onto his stomach and I was able to sneak a peak at the Sailor Moon tattoo covering his entire left scapula.

While my companion read poolside about France in WWII, I hid behind my Jackie-Os wondering about Man B's life for a good twenty minutes. Was this waxed and trimmed specimen self-conscious of or apathetic to his partner's furry back? I wished I had watched Sailor Moon so I could draw more conclusions about his personality from this character of choice.

Man B was not the only speedo-wearer. I actually got to check out two or three more sets of junk (although all were more in a train-wreck rather than an eye-candy sort of way). Also, I was surprised by the number of seemingly non-student, real adults at the pool on Thursday from 2-4 p.m. What are these people's jobs, and how can I make enough money in the future to afford a $1500+ rent while still having time to bounce around in a roof-top pool in the middle of a business day?

Thanks, Horoscope

I've been feeling a little bitchy at times for the last week or two. Although I haven't really directed it at anyone, I still feel a little bad about it. I've been questioning whether I should try to squash/correct my negativity or if I should just let it be and let myself feel however I do.

My horoscope made me feel better today though, "...Remember that it's not just about being nice; it's also about keeping it real."

Good. I love being enabled, even if it is only by my Google homepage.

Oh dear

I find Julianne Moore lovely, but this picture in today's Times did not do her justice and immediately reminded me of Creepo here.

Clinton, I like your style

This suit of Hillary's really struck me:

The woman looks beautiful in cantaloupe! She must know it too...

Not a fan of the jacket, but again, the color....

Same beads as in the first photo. Work those accessories, girl.

Even with the goofy expression, I still think she looks great. Ladies: don't be ashamed of having a monochromatic closet. Wear what works.

My brother backs Obama in '08

At ten years old, my brother loves to pretend he is worldy and informed. A little while back, for example, he slept over at a friend's and tossed into conversation that day, "blah blah blah with my coffee this morning."

He told me this weekend that he hates Republicans and Hillary Clinton, and rah-rahhed everytime Obama's picture appeared on the program I was watching. I asked him which of Obama's stances he most supported. I received a quizzical look, but later he quipped, "He's a good speaker."

Ah.

Upcoming purchases

1. A new computer
2. Curtains for my thundercloud hued room. I'm thinking a nice champagne color.
3. Some Towson University gear (another pair of sweatpants, another pair of shorts maybe, and a tee). I feel like I need to load up before graduating. Although I'm still waiting for the insane coupon I know graduating seniors got last year...

Why are people klutzy?

I looked this up and was hoping for some scientific answer, but I got these Google results instead:

• Google Answers: Self-defense for lazy, klutzy people
• Klutzy? Take Taiji or Ballroom Dancing!
• Newsvine: Life as a Klutzy, Unlucky Man
• Skinny, klutzy kids have always dreaded the senior prom
• "Lazy! Messy! Stupid! Klutzy baby!"
• Amazon.com: "The Klutzy Parent's Guide to Coaching U-6 Soccer"

Ah, maybe this will be what I'm looking for:

Fox News: Just Clumsy or Serious Medical Problem?

Mmm...not quite interesting enough for my attention span. I was hoping for a quick and dramatic diagnosis so the next time my bottle of Amstel Light missed the edge of the bar I could say "Don't laugh, I have an enlarged cerebellum."

I was going to wait but...

I am beginning my moving countdown: 1 month+3 days! I will be moving to my new apartment with my dear friend and ending my current transient lifestyle. My entire life is in Towson/Baltimore, but I've been commuting 40 minutes for the last four months.

I'm just like Hobo Dave here, often packing bags for days at a time and frequently skipping showers.

This has actually been my number one stressor for the last couple of months as it requires a lot of advanced planning (at which I'm only mildly skilled), so I end up forgetting my school stuff sometimes or having to take a trip to the mall to get an appropriate outfit for going out.

Nero kitten is also very excited about living in the city. Keep an eye out for him at Chesapeake Wine Co. though as I fear he is en route to becoming a wino.

I'm awesome today

A snippet from my horoscope (Virgo):

Your ruling planet Mercury is amplified by joyous Jupiter and you cannot help but be more inspirational than usual. Almost anything you say makes others feel better so everyone wants to talk with you.

A peak into my simple mind

Today while walking and thinking about the weather, I blanked trying to remember what a person who studies weather is called. When I remembered "meteorologist" I, like an average third grader, wondered But what is someone who studies meteors called?

In looking for the answer, off of an elementary school website in fact, I found this:

A chemist studies chemicals. A psychologist studies psychology. A geneticist studies genes. But does a meteorologist study meteors? The answer is yes! The word meteorologist comes from the Greek word meteor. This word meant high in the air.

A meteor can be anything that falls through the air. So, raindrops, dust, and snowflakes can be thought of as atmospheric "meteors." Scientists have different names for different kinds of weather meteors.

Interesting (I guess) but not really the answer I was hoping for.

From a different website: meteoricist.

Global warming...or something?

I've been thinking a lot lately about how spring 2008 seems to be off to a slow start. I walk a few blocks both to school and work and I feel that the foliage is still at a March level. Don't trees normally have more leaves by April? Does anyone keep statistics on these things?