CNN weirds me out

CNN might be "The Most Trusted Name in News" but whenever I look at their website, I feel stupider afterwards (yes, "stupider" not "more stupid"-- don't fuck with me, I know my superlatives).

Sometimes the articles are just that dumb, other times not. Examples of a few headlines today, no need to read the articles (I sure didn't).

NASA probes shiny object trailing shuttle
I admit that if you read this article's short blurb, this headline makes sense. But before doing that I had to read it at least three times to get what it was trying to say. I have a hard time taking sentences that contain "shiny object" seriously. I start imagining people with swirly-eyed vision going crazy over diamonds or Nero-kitten playing with aluminum foil.

Ex-con's videos keep inmates, kids in touch
Hmm. What kind of inmates are these, and whose kids? Is R. Kelly involved?

Can cell phones really pop popcorn?
Well, I have always wondered...

Holy shnikeys!

The banner ads on Facebook are typically hilarious and/or horrifying.  Example in point:  Each row has one male and one female model.  Try to guess which is which.

Call me close-minded, but I'm uncomfortable with my man displaying more cleavage than I am.  

Hungry for more?  Chew on this yummy hunk!

Whoa

While doing my daily news browsing, I saw this banner ad to the right of an article I was reading.

This is some scary shit! What would happen to your family if you died without Life Insurance? I'll tell you what, your chubster of a kid will end up as a beggar!

Even more amusing to me, however, was that when I right-clicked and saved, the file turned out to be named KilledByNinjasV2. I can only hope that version 1 actually shows the dad being killed by ninjas. Part one scares the shit out of you imagining your painful death-by-Asian-defense-moves. Then Part two fills you with guilt for not having the forethought to provide for your ugly kid. Way to go, Dad. Way. To. Go.

Teenage singer has breasts beneath clothes

Why is this Miley Cyrus photo controversial? People reports that Cyrus posed for

...a racy, as-yet unreleased Vanity Fair photo shoot in which she appears to be nude...

Are teenage girls not allowed to admit they have naked bodies? I honestly don't know if these photos would have been made a big deal if Cyrus herself hadn't started this by stating,

I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed.

I guess I'm off America's puritan pulse, but about what is she embarrassed? And why is she drawing this scrutiny to herself?

Vanity Fair article and photos here

Under the influence

I am so sick of seeing anti-drug ads, especially those from Above the Influence. This ONDCP campaign implies that anyone that smokes pot is doing so out of peer pressure.

I know that I'm no longer a minor, their core audience, but they apparently don't realize that most people that smoke are not being forced to do so.

Ironically, most of the ads rely on peer pressure telling teens that "Your friends won't like you if you smoke a joint" because you'll turn into a boring slob forever destined to live in your childhood bedroom.

It is funny though that this is the worst they can now come up with for reasons not to smoke pot. The government is no longer keeping marijuana illegal for safety or health reasons, now it's for your social well-being.